


Smoke in the Kitchen

by Berrygood



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Domestic Fluff, Fluff, M/M, davekat shenanigans, they're soft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-10
Updated: 2019-08-10
Packaged: 2020-08-14 16:23:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,420
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20195182
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Berrygood/pseuds/Berrygood
Summary: Dave and Karkat wrestle over a fire extinguisher. Also they're  in love.





	Smoke in the Kitchen

“Oh, yeah, I can totally do that for you, sir!” Dave Strider calls to a floating orange hovering 4 feet above the linoleum floors of a walmart. 

“Why thank you, young man!” the orange replies, from no mouth to be seen. Dave goes back to the shelf to retrieve the baby wipes the orange asked for, only to find it completely empty. The lights above flicker slightly. 

“Huh.” He turns to the orange, but it seems he has disappeared too. He goes to call out, only to find himself suddenly in his old bedroom. Unfortunately everything is bright yellow. Blindingly, actually. He stands there for a moment, before there’s a knock at the front door. He carefully opens his bedroom door, and steps out in bare feet onto the carpeted ground of the living room. No danger to be seen. 

He strides over to the apartment door, and opens it. And floating there, pizza box hovering next to him, is the orange. 

“Dave.”, he says. Just, simply, Dave. 

“What can I do ya for, my good orange?” He replies, very confused and slightly aroused. 

“Dave. Dave. Dave, seriously, you fucking nookwipe get down here! Dave what the fu-”

Dave wakes up, face down in bed and clutching a drool-filled pillow to his chest. 

“ DAVE, YOU MONUMENTAL BROKEN FERRIS WHEEL-ASSHAT LOOKING PURRBEAST OF A FUCK, GET DOWN HERE!”

Then Dave smells the smoke. He jumps out of bed, with no pants to speak of and lurches downstairs, feet pounding on the wooden floors of his and Karkat’s home. 

“Karkat! What the fuck dude, wh-” He stops. Karkat is brandishing a fire extinguisher, and is fumbling desperately with the mechanism, all while cursing up a storm rival only to John’s hurricanes.

Oh, and the toaster is on fire. 

“Holy shit kk, what in the FUCK!” Dave screeches, worry after worry bouncing aggressively in his skull. With a monumental heave he retrieves the fire extinguisher from his boyfriends arms, and, knocking into the kitchen table on the way, puts out the fire with only a few unmanly shrieks. 

Soon enough, the fire is out, and their kitchen is covered in white fluffy fire-deterrent. Dave heaves a breath, before turning to Karkat. 

“Morning’.”

Karkat looks to be in shock, shoulders tense and eyebrows melting into his hairline. There’s some extinguisher on his sweater, but Dave decides not to mention it. 

The alien clears his throat, finally recovering from whatever adrenaline cooldown he had been experiencing. He opens his mouth a few times, but nothing comes out. 

After a few moments, Dave speaks,” So, I mean i’m not about to go all crime movie interrogation on you here, but right now our kitchen is extra toasty with a side of toxic cloud. And i mean, that’s usually my favorite combo, like 10/10 on Yelp, right there. Did alternia even have Yelp? I know troll society was pretty advanced but Yelp is pretty iconic you know-” 

“Jegus fuck Dave, this is all my fault.” Karkat interrupts, slamming his head into his hands and shaking it vigorously. He takes a deep breath, then looks up, and Dave is surprised to see his grey skin dusted in a blush.

“I wanted to, I don’t know, make us breakfast or something equally sappy and heartfelt. So i got up early and attempted to use the bread burning machine, but somehow it got a little out of control.” His face got a darker and darker red as he spoke, seemingly using all his strength to push out the words. 

“I’m sorry Dave. I woke you up, and made a huge fucking mess and failed miserably at my lame attempts of doing something special today,and just, i’m sorry. I, I really screwed this up.” His face falls, blush fading as his arms rise to cross over his chest, appearing to shrink into himself tenfold. 

“Hey, hey no! Karkat, everything’s fine dude!” 

Dave steps closer, eyebrows wrinkled in worry. Hefting the fire extinguisher under one arm, he brushes Karkat’s hair back to look him in the eye.

“We can replace the toaster easy peasy, and you know what?” Karkat looks up at this, teeth worrying his bottom lip,”I for one think it’s super sweet.” 

“... I literally burnt half the kitchen into a dust storm of clusterfuck.”

“ Bro, we invented the goddamn economy. Money isn’t an issue, and we can just get some people over her to fix it quicker than you could say” There’s a fire in my toaster!”. C’mon Karkles, you’ve gotta admit this scenario is a bit hilarious.”

Karkat considers this, then speaks in as much as a whisper as is physically and mentally capable of him,”You’re not mad?” 

“Mad? Karkat, my best bro, you tried to make me breakfast. Why would I be mad at you for being disgustingly romantic?” Dave rasies a finger and boops Karkat on his nose, startling him out of whatever long train of thought was stretched out before his eyes.

“Besides,” Dave continues, cracking a mischievous grin,” That was pretty...hot…” 

Karkat groans and lightly bangs his head onto Dave’s chest while muttering various curses and circling one of his arms around Dave's waist. 

“Would you drop the gogdamned fire extinguisher so I can properly hug you for being a really nice asshole boyfriend who I happen to love very much.” 

Dave gasps dramatically, arm tightening around the machine, and exclaims in a rather theatrical manner,” Karkat! How dare you! This fire extinguisher and I have been through thick and thin, conquered places the mortal mind can’t even comprehend, helped each other through epic highs and lows! I am one with the extinguisher!”

Karkat humphs,”I have half a mind to chuck that troublesome device into the endless abyss that is our sock drawer.” He squeezes Dave even tighter with the arm encircling his waist,”It’s me or the extinguisher, Dave.Choose wisely.” He’s smiling,slightly, against Dave’s shirt.

Dave sighs, before disentangling himself from dark, sweatered arms and placing the fire extinguisher on the chair next to him. He bows dramatically then, smiling with amusement,”I choose you, Karkat Vantas.” He steps closer, pressing a kiss to Karkat’s brow,” Always.” 

“Fuck you.” 

“As you wish.” It slips out before Dave can think to stop it. He looks down, and Karkat looks up, and they’re both the reddest they’ve ever been. 

“I-I mean, uh, just ignore that, fuck, okay, um-” 

Karkat shooshes him with a practiced hand, still beet red, and laughs quietly against Dave. “Let’s just go back to bed.Oh fuck! That came out wrong,I mean to sleep.Yeah, that.” 

“Yep! Sounds funky, uh-huh, yes! To bed!” Dave coughs out, so red he feels like combusting right then and there. He picks up Karkat bridal style and takes to the air, while the attacked screams to be,” PUT DOWN THIS INSTANT OR SO HELP ME I’LL-” until he was dumped on the crumpled bed sheets of their mattress. 

Dave grins, and Karkat pulls him out of the air and onto the bed and kisses him. Dave flops on top of his boyfriend, and asks,” Hey, why were you making breakfast today anyways?” 

This earns a flustered glare from the alien, before he sighs and begins to explain. 

“Today was, uh,” he gulps,”It was when we had our first feelings jam.On the meteor,you know.And I thought, well,it would be nice.You know, to do something. For that.” He looks embarrassed, and Dave absolutely melts.

“Karkat, ya big sap.” He mumbles happily into Karkats sweater. “Fuck, i’m sorry I didn’t remember, dude. I’ll make it up to you, promise.”

“S’okay. It’s kind of a stupid thig to remember,anyways.”Karkat says, carding his hands through mussed blonde locks. 

“No, Karkles, babe, i’m a time player. Fuck, if anything I should be the one to take you to some crazy romantic expadition with anime rose petals falling from the void and fancy champane and strippers-” 

“Dave what the FUCK-”

“-And a six course meal made of only the rarest foods on Earth C.You know, the works.”

“Naturally.” Karkat concedes,curling into Dave and sighing. 

“Tell ya what, after a quick power nap we’ll head over to the new Denny’s and gorge ourselves. Full course meal, and i’ll pay.”

“We never have to pay for anything.We have like, a god discount or something.” 

“It’s the thought that counts, babe.” Dave said, and they both slept until 4pm. And then had some fuckin awesome pancakes.

**Author's Note:**

> Adsjkaisabobv this was really fun to write lol. Criticism is appreciated!


End file.
